Feelings.

I am an emotional girl. I can be moody but emotional suits me better.

Emotion is generally a taboo topic for most.

Emotion is perceived as weak:

"Don't let your emotions rule you."
"Crying is pathetic."
"Letting people see how you feel makes you vulnerable."

And while there is some truth in that last one, that isn't always bad.

I've always been emotional. I was an emotional child and I'm an emotional adult. My mom shunned my emotion and people now dismiss me or think of me as naive. I don't care to change that and I don't care to hide it. I'm not afraid to be seen as weak or childish. Your opinion belong to you and you're entitled to them but that doesn't mean I need to let them effect how I run my life.

I like being emotional. I revel in it. I am secure in my feelings. I feel strongly and I like it. It is scary sometimes but I am grateful, nonetheless. Despite all of this, I'm very bad at anger. I don't express it well (read: at all) and it lasts a very short period of time. Upset, I can do. Oh, upset and I are friends.

I'm getting ahead of myself. When I feel, I feel completely. Wholly. All of me feels it. Sadness, makes my heart ache. Joy, it feels like singing. Love is more complicated. Call me cliched, but it is equally painful and beautiful.

Regardless of what I'm feeling, I want to bathe in it. I want to fill a bathtub and sink my entire self into it. I want to rest there and feel it until I understand it completely and am ready to move on. Which makes negative emotion dangerous and positive emotion overwhelming. And yet, all of it is comforting to me. Although, sometimes, I need a little bit of help getting out of that bathtub...which I'm not so good at asking for or accepting.

I'm not afraid of being judged. This is who I am and if you're ever close enough to see it and don't like it, things were obviously not meant to be. Not many people get to see this side of me. Most people see the outspoken, loud, clever girl...but not the mushy, gentle, sweet girl and I like it that way. Consider yourself special if you're one of those people.