silliness.

Not fun silliness, that's generally what that means. Today, I'm an over-emotional bundle of nerves and hormones. Ah, being a girl...what fun there is to be had.

Today is what I'd consider a darker day. Not depression, by any means, but full of bothersome thoughts and  terrors.

I've done some foolish, out of character things recently. A couple of them are quite good...and more than a few are not so good. I think I need a vacation. From my job, from this brain of mine, from many things.

I just need some comfort. Someone to tell me things will be okay...an extended hug, perhaps. Someone to pretend to care, if just for a moment. Just some fucking cuddles...I'm not asking for much, I think. I don't want to play, I don't want to fuck...I just want to be able to let go for a moment and breathe. I get so caught up in my own brain. It gets jumbled in here sometimes.

I have to add, a kitten just stopped running around to lay her head on my arm. It was very cute.

I don't have the support I need from the people I want it from...which is a curious thing. I am, admittedly, terrible at asking for help. I feel like when I do ask, it is not a possibility. I know I don't have good timing when it comes to being panicky and lost...but if I had good timing with that, it probably wouldn't be a real problem.

Today, I posted on Facebook about wanting cuddles and two people I never would have expected reached out to me. One on my post and one through text. The comment on my post was quite sweet and very much unexpected....and the one through text, I never would've thought they'd be so supportive.


 Is it wrong to deny given assistance from people I would never ask and hope for the people I do? Am I doing those who reach out a disservice by not accepting their care?